Obrigado or obrigada?
If you are speaking as a man, say
obrigadoIf you are speaking as a woman, say
obrigadaThat is the entire rule. A man thanking a woman still says obrigado; a woman thanking a man still says obrigada.
Why the rule works this way
Obrigado is not really the word "thanks" — it is an adjective meaning "obliged". You are saying a shortened version of eu fico obrigado, "I am obliged to you".
Portuguese adjectives agree with the person they describe, and the person being described here is you. Once you hear it as "I am obliged" rather than "thanks", the ending stops being a guess.
The mistake almost everyone makes
Learners reach for the ending that matches the person they are talking to. It is the one thing that is always wrong.
A man thanks a female shop assistant
Correct Obrigado!Wrong Obrigada!A woman thanks a male taxi driver
Correct Obrigada!Wrong Obrigado!A woman thanks a group of people
Correct Obrigada a todos!Wrong Obrigados a todos!
What Brazilians actually say
The textbook form is only the start. These are the variants you will hear every day in Brazil, from most neutral to most casual.
| Form | Meaning | When to use it |
|---|---|---|
| obrigado / obrigada | Thank you | Always safe, in any situation, spoken or written. |
| muito obrigado / muito obrigada | Thank you very much | When you want real warmth without sounding formal. |
| obrigadão / obrigadona | Thanks a lot | Casual and affectionate, among friends. The augmentative makes it bigger, not more formal. |
| obrigadinho / obrigadinha | Thanks, little one | Light and sweet, for a small favour. Can sound sarcastic with the wrong tone. |
| brigado / brigada | Thanks | The clipped spoken form. Extremely common in speech, rarely written. |
| valeu | Cheers, thanks | Informal and — usefully — invariable. No gender ending to choose at all. |
| vlw | thx | The texting form of valeu. WhatsApp and social media only. |
| agradecido / agradecida | Much obliged | Formal and slightly old-fashioned. Written notes, or older speakers. |
How to reply when someone thanks you
This is the question that comes ten seconds later. De nada is correct everywhere, but a Brazilian is more likely to say imagina.
- de nada
- You are welcome. Neutral and universally correct.
- por nada
- Same idea, very common in Brazil.
- imagina / magina
- Do not mention it. The most natural Brazilian reply by far.
- que isso!
- Oh, come on — it was nothing. Warm and informal.
- disponha
- Anytime, at your service. Generous and a little formal.
- eu que agradeço
- I am the one who should be thanking you.
Non-binary speakers and mixed groups
Portuguese grammatical gender is binary by default. Non-binary Brazilians often use obrigade, formed with the neutral -e ending of linguagem neutra. It is widely understood in younger and online circles but is not standard and will not be recognised everywhere.
Valeu and eu agradeço carry no gender ending at all, so both work as neutral alternatives in any company.
In a group, each person still uses their own form. There is no plural obrigados in ordinary use — a woman thanking a crowd says obrigada a todos.
How to say it
o-bri-GA-du and o-bri-GA-da, with the stress on GA. The final -o of obrigado sounds like "oo", not like the "oh" an English speaker expects — this single vowel is what most often gives a beginner away.
Check yourself
Four questions. If you get all four, the rule has landed.
Get this right without thinking about it
Falando drills the Brazilian Portuguese contrasts that trip learners up — with audio, real examples, and spaced review that brings each one back just before you would forget it.